Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves. This is the club that we have all been waiting for, the club of all clubs. This club will only be taking the most skilled of students, and initiations will be done as a secret society. East Forsyth, please welcome Extreme Underwater Basket Weaving.
This is the ancient art of creating masterpieces of woven baskets. This incredible skill started with the Eskimos. Originally, they would soak the dried willow leaves in water, then begin to weave together the beautiful, breathtaking creations. Now, for the extremeness, this work of skill will be done completely underwater, with the master weaver will use the newly discovered Aquaman Crystal to be able to breathe underwater.
To make this all the more challenging it will have to be done at midnight, only when there is a full moon in view. This very specific frame of time is essential in bending the dried willow leaves into the perfect showpiece.
To be able to even be considered for this club, you will have to have more than twenty years of experience being trained by world renowned janitors who have been featured more than sixty different times in the custodian hall of fame between the years of 1910-1911. You will also be able to pass the physical examinations. These tests include but are not limited to reciting the alphabet backwards, sleeping for forty hours at a time, dotting your i’s and crossing your t’s perfectly.
After being allowed to participate in such a honorable ceremony of being inducted, you will compete against the highest ranking of weavers in the tri-state area. The top 6 participants will then rock, paper, scissors until only two remain. The final two baskets will then be judged by the finest dolphins in the Pacific Ocean, and then the champion will go onto the Olympics.
East Forsyth Students, please take advantage of this wonderful opportunity. Please turn in your physicals and permission forms to Mr. Thomas in room 406 at the beginning next school year.