ATTENTION: THIS WAS WRITTEN AS A PARODY NEWS ASSIGNMENT (A LA THE ONION) FOR A HIGH SCHOOL JOURNALISM CLASS. THIS IS NOT ACCURATE INFORMATION AND WAS NOT INTENDED TO BE ACCURATE INFORMATION.
Netflix has announced that it will be removing over twenty television shows and movies from their site next month. Fan favorites like Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Grey’s Anatomy, Friends, Full House, The Office, Parks and Recreation, and many more will be gone this time in July.
“I just can’t believe they are taking them away!” Brittany Green (’17) remarks. “One Tree Hill is my favorite show ever.” East students are starting a RIP Netflix Club next year, sponsored by Ms. Robertson, to create replicas of their favorite basic television shows. Students will act out the shows themselves so that they can binge-watch and relive their favorite scenes over and over again forever.
Netflix stated that they “were just tired of the site being flooded fans. Taking away these popular titles will get us back to the audience we strived to have.”
Not only are shows being taken away, but favorite movies will be removed as well. Movies including Grease, Clueless, all Nicholas Sparks movie adaptations, and Disney Classics including Mulan, Pocahontas, and Hercules will all be replaced in July.
“We also think it is time for a change,” Netflix commented. “Next month we plan on replacing all of these types of movies with romantic comedies that star Adam Sandler. Only Adam Sandler. These are movies that will bring in a fresh face to Netflix and send away unwanted subscribers.”
“I love Adam Sandler,” Chris Jefferson (’19) stated regarding the changes occurring on Netflix. “I think he is a great actor! Honestly, he is one of the best and I can’t believe he hasn’t won an academy award yet. After his first or second movie, I wasn’t tired of him at all! Netflix will definitely be getting a monthly bill from me from now on!”
Without all of the fan favorite TV shows, what will be left on Netflix to keep viewers interested? We cannot survive solely on Adam Sandler movies forever!
There are mixed feelings about the changes Netflix will be making in July 2016, but we can be sure that there will be a fresh selection available to all viewers soon enough. Start memorizing your favorite Netflix scenes and sign up for RIP Netflix club so that you will be prepared for all of the reenactments!