“Secret Stuff” To Be Sold To Athletes

In order to spice up high school sports and increase attendance at the sporting events the North Carolina High School Athletic Association has legalized the use of “Secret Stuff” for all sports. The rule will go into effect next school year. “Secret Stuff” was used by Michael Jordan when he saved the Looney Tunes from an alien species.

The student athletes are very excited about this and are ready to excel their skills in their perspective sport. The coaches however are skeptical of the new rule because of the adverse effects that “Secret Stuff” can have on the body. The parents of student athletes are also skeptical, but they also want to support their kids because it could also mean a college scholarship.

With the aid of “Secret Stuff,” high school athletes can add onto their strength, therefore improving on the physical aspects of their sport. This will help students be able to hit a baseball further, hit someone harder or throw a football further, or being able to run faster in track.

The NCHSAA also hopes that as a side effect of the new rule more people will attend the games increasing the revenue of the schools. The increased revenue could be used for improvements in the schools like new textbooks. The benefits of “Secret Stuff” are endless, and its not like it can have harmful effects on the body such as becoming a cartoon or developing super powers.

There are plenty of cases of “Secret Stuff” elevating athletes’ games, such as Barry Bonds the all-time leading home run hitter of Major League Baseball, seven time winner of the Tour de France, Lance Armstrong, and former body builder Arnold Schwarzenegger. If these professional athletes did it and it made them better, then why shouldn’t our high school athletes get to use them. What could go wrong? It is going to make sports much more entertaining and fun for the athletes and fans.

We can only wait in anticipation for the history that is about to be made next year. Don’t get left out and get started doping early so you can be a star.


Categories: EFHS Sports, SPORTS

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